As the school and parish community deal with the loss of one of their beloved students, Grace Gary, I would like to recommend several books that parents could read with their child to help them through the grieving process.  

1. The Saddest Time by Norma Simon.  The second story of this book deals with the loss of a classmate.  A good book for ages 4-8.  

2.  Sad Isn't Bad: A Good-Grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing With Loss by Michaelene Mundy  

3.  Help Me To Say Good-bye:  Activities for Helping Kids Cope When a Special Person Dies by Janis Silverman  

      Young children often cannot verbalize their feelings and thoughts well.  Sometimes , it is a good idea just to let them express their feeling through drawing a picture.  Making a memory book or box is also a great way of helping your child through the grieving process. 

Managing Test Anxiety

              Most students will experience some level of anxiety when faced with an exam or standardized test.  However, when the anxiety affects the student’s performance then it has become a problem.

               Text anxiety is a type of performance anxiety – a feeling one might have in a situation where performance really counts or when the “pressure is on” to do well.  This anxiety can bring on “butterflies,” stomachaches, or tension headaches. A student may feel shaky, sweaty, or feel their heart beating quickly as they wait for the test to begin.  Really strong anxiety may cause the student to feel like he or she is going to pass out or throw up.

              A small amount of anxiety isn’t bad – it’s actually helpful to be “up” when taking a test.  But if your student’s stress level is too high it can hurt his/her performance on the test.  Some tips to help your student handle test anxiety include:

• Learn about the test and be familiar with the material it will cover.  Many tests have online study guides and practice tests available.  Encourage your student to use these resources as part of their test preparation.
• Counter negative thoughts with positive thoughts and actions.  Help them set realistic goals for their test performance and use messages such as “You’ve studied hard and know the material, and I’m proud of you for the effort you’ve put into preparing for this test.”
• Encourage them to take care of their body so that their mind will benefit.    This includes getting enough sleep, exercise, and eating a healthy meal before the test.  Practicing stress management techniques, such as simple breathing exercises, can prove to be a valuable skill for reducing anxiety.
• During the test itself, remind them to read the directions carefully and to budget their time.  It is important not to think about the fear but to keep on task and stay in control.

Everything takes time and practice, and dealing with test anxiety is no different.  Learning stress management, as well as facing and dealing with the problem can prove to be a valuable skill in situations other than taking test.  The more you know about anxieties and how to conquer them, the less chance they have of controlling you.

Sources:  Teens Health (www.kidshealth.org), Dealing with Test Anxiety (www.studygs.net).  Information is also available from your I CARE Specialist, Cindy Francis (cfrancis1@ebrschools.org) and from the I CARE Program of EBRPSS (225) 226-2273 or at icare.ebrschools.org.

       Stress is a natural consequence of life.  Although some stress is unavoidable, other instances of stress can be prevented or influenced.  Learning to distinguish between the two will help you be able to devote your time and talents to other areas where you can make a difference.

If stress becomes an issue in your life, some local resources available in the Baton Rouge area include:

              Baton Rouge Mental Health Center               342-2626

              Capitol Area Human Services                     342-2606

              Catholic Community Services                      336-8770

Sources:  Revolution Health Group (www.revolutionhealth.com), National Institute for Drug Abuse (www.nida.nih.gov), Kids Health (www.kidshealth.org) , The American Institute of Stress (www.stress.org).

      Information is also available from your I CARE Specialist, Cindy Francis (cfrancis1@ebrschools.org), and from the I CARE Program of EBRPSS (225) 226-2273 or at icare.ebrschools.org. The link to their monthly newsletter is http://icare.ebrschools.org/explore.cfm/helpinghandnews/

Duke TiP Program: (www.tip.duke.edu) general information, on-line registration

Bullying Prevention:( www.bully.org)   Includes samples of journal entries from victims and bullies.

Department for children, schools and Families  A great resource site that includes lots of information for adults, including case studies and media packs.

Child Protection:
Megan’s Law: General information about the Megan Nicole Kanka Foundation.

Louisiana Sex Offender List:  Identifies local child predators in the Louisiana area.

Internet Safety:
Netsmartz   Site for parents, educators, teens and kids that provides information on how to stay safe on the internet.

NetSmartz Kids:  Safe site for children that teaches internet safety, fun games to reinforce concepts.

http://www.cox.com/takecharge/  Cox site for safety

Several types of software can monitor your kids on the Internet:
Keylogger software-tracks key strokes
Spector Pro
Eblaster
WatchdogPC

Starting the Conversation This Summer

With the summer approaching, many of our children will be facing extra free time. If parents are not diligent this may become a time for drug and alcohol experimentation. So now may be the time to begin-or continue-that ongoing conversation about drinking and drug use.

Communication is essential in any loving relationship and it is important for parents to remember that communication involves listening as well as talking. Our children believe that they have important things to sat, and it builds their self-esteem and confidence when parents truly listen to them. The most important thing to remember when talking to our children about difficult subjects like drinking and drugs is that it is not a one-time five-minute “talk”. It is an on-going dialogue, because as our children grow up they will need more and more information and support.

In our fast-pace society it sometimes seems there are not enough hours in a day and it is often frustrating how few chances there are to have meaningful conversations with our children. Yet the better you communicate, the more at ease you and your child will feel discussing drugs and other sensitive issues. Hare are some tips for that important conversation:

Be absolutely clear that you do not want your child using drugs. Talk often about the dangers and results of drug and alcohol abuse and make sure your child understands that it is never, ever okay to use drugs anywhere, at any time. Set your rules and continually discuss and reinforce the importance of staying alcohol and drug-free.

Be a better listener. Encourage your child to ask questions and then paraphrase what is said to show that you are listening. Involve them in family decisions and show your willingness to listen to what he or she has to say. This will make your child feel more comfortable about opening up to you when they have important issues on their mind.

Give honest answers. If you do not know the answer offer to find it out-but don’t make up what you do not know. If they want to know if you used drugs, let them know what’s important: That you do not want them to use drugs.

Use TV reports, anti-drug commercials, or school discussions as a natural way to introduce the subject. Look for other teachable moments that will open the door for that important conversation.

Don’t react in a way that will cut off further discussion. Children often make statements to challenge or shock their parents, and your calm reaction can turn the conversation into a discussion about drug use and if the effect is worth the risk.

Role-play with your child. Acknowledge how tough it is to be a child/teen these days. Practice with them ways to refuse drugs in a variety of situations and what to do if help is needed.